Happy Birthday Travis,

     My 9 lb, 8 oz baby boy.  How could an accident have killed you?  You were always so sure of yourself, what happened that night?  What made you and James make such a silly mistake?  I want to be with you that night and make sure that you are okay.  But this is not a day to mourn, not a day of grief.  It is a day to celebrate you.  I wonder what you would be doing today on your birthday.  It is a work day so you would have went to work.  Then you and Sarah would have gone out to dinner, probably to O'Melias or Jalapenos. You would have stopped by like you did every day and I would have given you your card with money in it.  I would have told you I loved you, and to be careful like I always did and you would have went off to celebrate your birthday.  I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.  I hate this time of year.  Everyone is so happy getting ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It is so hard for me.  It will never be the same for me.  I know that you are at peace and will never have lifes everyday worries.  There are times when I envy you for that.  But I still wish you were here with me.  Greg's friend Aaron was here a couple of weeks ago and he took his boots off at the door.  I saw them there and I saw your boots.  I see tall guys with a hat on and I see you.  You are with me everywhere I go. I visit you almost every day just because I have too.  Something is missing in me if I don't have some form of contact with you every day. You will forever be a part of me.

I wish you the happiest 25th Birthday you can possibly have.  I love you to the moon and back with every fiber in my soul.  I could not love you more that I allready do.  I miss you baby boy.

It SO unfair that your not here! I have these times where I get SO angry about it! Im having a tough night! So Im going to talk to you! Another Labor Day passed with out you... not any more easy then the first! Your name as well as James was on the t-shirts again this year! We will NEVER forget you Travis! NEVER! I hope you remember me when I see you next. Please dont forget me! I dont know if it will be sooner or later because a greater power is in charge of that. But I just pray you will remember what I look like! Your forever young! Your going to look SO great when I see you again! I wouldnt ever forget that face! I cant imagine how much fun You and James are having?! You dont even have to worry about working:) I wonder if its just like an amazing vacation? or if you get to relax all the time, and hang out with your loved one! I cant imagine time better spent then that! I wish I could be at peace with happy thoughts like that, but I dont know if that will ever happen?! Just when you think you have cried all the tears you have...they just keep coming! I miss you! And think about you everyday!

Your little Sister!

You have another nephew.  Lance and Trishia had a boy on Sept 9th.  They named him Chase Jacob.  He is your namesake.  I think that is a wonderful thing , giving him your middle name.  He sure is a cutie.  We went down to see them last weekend, and holding him made me remember my precious babies.  Babies that grew up so fast and now you are gone from me.  I miss you so much Travis.  It will never matter to me that you were getting all grown up and moving away from me and starting your own life.  You will forever be my baby boy.  You always told me you were going to have four kids.  We will never know.  I can only imagine that you would have been as great a father as your brothers are.  Its so sad that we will miss that part of you.  You would have had beautiful children.  Life is so unfair.  Why my baby? Why my son?  I love you Travis.  I know you knew that, but do you know now that I grieve for you every minute of every day.  You are never away from me.    Mom

Today you have been gone for one and a half years.  I can't believe it still.  Life just keeps going by.  We all miss you so much.  Our family is so fractured without you here.  I would give anything to have you back here living your life.  We are all struggling but getting by.  We need your guidence to get us through most of our days.  I know you are watching over all of us.  Doesn't seem right that the youngest one in the family has to be the one to keep us all safe.  I love you Travis, and miss you so.

Travis,

It has been One year and five months today since you left us.  It seems like only yesterday.  Time goes so fast.  I am amazed at how my life has changed in this time.  I am on this web site off and on all day.  It is the first thing I do in the morning and I the last thing I do every night.  I go to the cemetary at least five days a week.  Just to check on things.  I am so dedicated to keeping your memory alive.  In doing so I hope I am not short changing your brothers.  I know they are still here and need me to be there for them too.  I just can't let you go.  I don't think I ever will. I miss you so much.  Stay with me Travis, I need your guidance.  I am so proud to have been your mother.  I Love you,  Mom

I Miss you more every day!!

Love, Mom

I Never stop thinking about you, and missing you.

Just wish you were here with us!!  I Love You, Mom

Its finally spring.  Its seems that in everything I do and everywhere I go , I think about what you might be doing if you were still here.  You would probably be doing work in your yard, and on your house.  Your rental would have a deck in front by now.  Maybe you would be married by now.  Who knows?  We will never know.  Man, I wish I had lots more time with you.  I guess its a good thing we don't know what is ahead for us because if I'd known you were going to die in a car accident, I'd have never let you out of my site.  I miss you so much Travis.  You were such a big part of my life and this void that I have will never be filled.  I will forever wish God would give you back.  I am so proud of you. With the way you lived your life.  I knew you were special all along and now I know you were also one of Gods chosen ones.  I wonder what you and God do all day?  Is there really a heaven?  Where are you really?  Can you see us?  I need to know you are okay.  I love you Travis and I always will

Hi Travis,  I'm sure that you already know this but after Haylee died we got two more persians.  Ziggy and Bella.  You would love them, especially Ziggy.  He follows me everywhere and is so loving.  I tell everyone he has part of you in him.  He wouldn't leave Sarah alone one day, it was so funny.  He kept jumping onto her lap and she'd push him down. Finally he laid his head on her leg.  She said "Leave it to Travis to come back as a cat"  Funny, knowing how she feels about cats.  Bella is a lot like Haylee was.  I have tried to make them jump up for treats the way you had Haylee doing but I can't seem to do it.  Need you for that.  I need you for lots of things.  Miss you more every day.  Tomorrow is Lexi's 4th Birthday.  She and Madison put some little trolls at your stone.  They are cute.  The little kids won't forget you Trav, we won't let them.  I had the two cats shaved the other day, you know what they look like now.  They have been laying around and sleeping all day, trying to stay warm I imagine.  Heres a cute cat just laying around.  Be at peace Travis, I need to know that you are.